Toxic vs. Nourishing Relationships

Here’s an easy way to evaluate the health of your relationships.

Ask yourself, how do I feel when I spend time with this person?

Nourishing relationships leave you feeling better about yourself. During the interaction you feel more authentic, enriched, supported.

Toxic relationships leave you feeling worse about yourself. You you feel unseen or diminished during the interaction.

What do you feel?

It can be hard to tell. Emotions are rarely a dichotomy. The love, stress, hope, and frustration can mix all at once. The mix can get you caught telling yourself stories, "logic-ing" your feelings until you get a headache.

Or you can simply turn and acknowledge how you feel. Net positive? Or Net negative?

Granted, you may need to change your perspective in order to improve the relationship. But if you’ve done all you can, and still feel shitty, then it may be best to move on. You can also check out this quiz and Gottman’s conflict theory for further introspection.